Sh!t Ballet Teachers Say
For five months, I ignored a nagging pain in my hip, lower back and leg. When three ibuprofen didn't do the trick to get me through a ballet class, I decided to see the orthopedist. I'm now a diligent physical therapy patient and pilates student, doing my clamshells, pretzels, etc. on a daily basis. Until I'm back at the barre more often, here's some of what I miss about ballet class.
"Oh my gawd."
"Like when you’re training a dog not to pee in the house, when they pee, you take them outside to the grass. You’ve got to train your muscle memory the same way. Finish in fifth."
"It's like baking cookies…if you leave something out, it doesn’t work. Same thing – being on demi point – if you’re just partway there, it doesn’t work, you must lock in the ankle."
"How do I say this without hurting anyone’s feeling or getting fired? Keep your hips forward."
"It’s okay if you do it that way, I’ll just talk about you behind your back."
"The most important thing in ballet is...everything."
What does your ballet teacher say? My friend LLL offered these gems:
"Your ronde de jambe looks like you are wiping dog poop off your shoe." (You mean we don't all look like this doing ronde de jambe?)
"You look like Dominique Moceanu when you start your grande plie." (Perhaps a reference to egregious use of port de bras?)
So really, what gems roll from the tongue of your ballet teacher? Please share.